4/15/03
It's the vcr clock. That's why I didn't get 24 on tape again. I forgot to change it after daylight savings. Grrr. I set the vcr last night so that I wouldn't forget and so that I would be in the right mindset. So much for that. Seriously I don't know what I would do without the rerun on FX.

On Thursday I have to go with Pat to Port St Lucie where we have a northern campus. I really do want to see their library and I can finally meet the people that Carla was talking about so much this past weekend. However, I have to spend 90 minutes in the car with Pat. 90 minutes. I wonder what this is going to be like...

No sightings today despite the fact that he was on campus. How could he not come into the library?? I would've found a reason to walk over thru his building but I know that he keeps his door closed unless it's his office hours. I found a reason yesterday but he wasn't in. Sigh. I'll keep my fingers crossed that he's on campus tomorrow but it's iffy because he has a conference and he mentioned leaving on Wednesday...

I'm so pissed off at the government that I can't even talk about it. I was at Truthout and had to stop reading because I was getting all worked up at work. Such stupid people in control of the world. Then I watched Bill (I'd missed it last Friday) and I was even mad at him because now he seems to think that the war was a good thing! The war's not over yet people. And as predicted, this was just the first of many. I'm mad that my personal freedoms are being taken away even as we are supposedly giving freedom to others (I'll believe that when I see it, our track record doesn't make me hopeful). Ugh, I can't talk about it anymore.

I'm going to drink some chocolate milk and go to bed. Only two more work days until my weekend!

4/14/03
I slept until 2 today. So much for being at work on time! I managed to make it in by 3, Pat was ok with it because she had been 2 hours late herself!! Of course I missed having a sighting by about 5 minutes. I hoped for the rest of the day that he would return but no such luck. Oh well, maybe Wednesday will be more fruitful.

Tonight I bought soy milk, both regular and chocolate. I realized that the organic milk was costing $3.25/gallon and all I really use it for is my cereal in the morning. So I went with soy, which was almost half of the price. Then I had the moral dimemma of withdrawing my support from dairy farmers who are doing things the right way. What if, because customers like me turn to soy, they are forced to start using hormones?? And it will all be because of me!

Tonight I watched last week's 24 and of course it was really good. Then I shut the tv off because there wasn't anything on. I looked at alternative librarian sites, had a great time at The Whitehouse, a great parody that will entertain for hours, and I made lunches for the rest of the week. Now it's 3am and I'm not tired but I'm going to get ready for bed anyway. Because there's no sleeping in tomorrow!

4/13/03
I'm back! While I was gone it seemed like time was kind of dragging by but now that I'm home I look back and it seems to have been a blur! The weather went from cold and miserable to warmer and sunny. I'm still very happy to be back in FL, this is where I belong.

Everything in my fridge is frozen solid. Last Tuesday night I thought that the light was out but I discovered the next morning that actually the whole thing wasn't working. I had told the office to fix it right away because I would be gone (well, I would've told them to get on it asap if I'd been here too...). Ken, the maintenance man, fixed it and left a note that he'd cranked the cold and that I should turn it down just as soon as the temp was back to normal. Four full days of high cold means that my juice, the tofu, the sour cream - everything has ice in/on it. My lettace turned a really dark green and isn't usable, so much for my salad for lunch tomorrow. I wonder what happens to eggs once they've been frozen... I was going to crack one to find out but decided against it.

Since I was up at about 8:45 this morning I thought I'd be in bed by midnight. Nope. It's 2 am and I'm tired but am not really ready to turn in just yet. I want to stay up and enjoy being back at home! I think I'll go decide what to wear tomorrow. I should have a sighting so I have to look good... :)

4/8/03
To the person who found this site by looking up "crusty panty links" I just want to say sorry. This site must be a disappointment. Stop looking up stupid stuff on the internet.

The first thing I did when I rolled out of bed this morning was to set the vcr for 24 because I was determined not to forget! Well I didn't forget but I shouldn't do anything until I've taken a shower and have had a chance to wake up. I set it for the wrong time. I had even just double checked but still got it wrong. Sigh. At least I had last night to carry me over.

I take off tomorrow, I probably won't post again until Sunday. I'm almost all packed, just a few things to throw in tomorrow morning. It wasn't until I finished that I looked at the weather and perhaps things are looking up! Saturday and Sunday won't be as bas as they had predicted just yesterday, looks like it could be in the 70s. Won't exactly be a weekend at the beach but still. I'll have to put a tshirt in with my sweaters.

Carl didn't call today, I find that really unusual. I'll call him tomorrow before I go. I know that he won't answer but at least he'll have heard from me. Tonight there was a guy in who kept talking to me. I had that feeling like he wanted to ask me out and I was happy that he didn't. He was nice enough but I couldn't stop thinking that he looked a lot like Radar from Mash. I found that really distracting.

Last night I stayed up until 4am. I didn't mean to and I was super tired but I was caught up in this journal from when I lived in Greece. It was four years ago on the 17th that I left to live there. I was reading it over trying so hard to remember a few of the things I'd written about. I don't remember some of the people that I was talking about and that was frustrating because even though it's been awhile I don't feel like I should've forgotten any of it. I'm just glad that I kept a journal at all! And now I have my pita. This will be one year old on the 22nd of this month, can you believe it?

And with that I'm going to go. I hope to play around on the computer while I'm gone, maybe I will find some cool format for when I archive!

4/7/03
I forgot to mention last night that a guy asked me out while I was at work. He was kind of creepy, that's what I thought about him when he first walked in. As he was leaving he came up to the desk and introduced himself and told me that I was a "pretty little librarian lady" and he wanted my number so he could take me out and treat me right. I told him that I was not interested. He asked if I had a boyfriend and I said yes. I mean if he's going to give me that out then I'm going to take it! He still wanted my number and said that we belonged together. Then he started talking about our wedding cake and how it would be so perfect if I married him because his name is Chris and we could just have one really big C on the cake. I told him that I was sorry but that no was my answer. He left and I kept thinking to myself how it would be perfect if I married a man named Chris...

I'm just kidding, even my vivid imagination isn't skipping ahead to marrying my Dr. So I had a whopping three sightings today. The first where he didn't appear to see me, the second where he saw me but I kind of ignored him because I was still mad about sighting #1, and the third when he came into the library for no apparent reason, walked back to the books, and walked back out the door. This time I waved and we said hi but that was it. Shannon insists that he was only in to talk to me but I disagree this time. He'd seen me twice that day so if he wanted to see or talk to me, he could've done it earlier. All of us girls have taken to calling him Dr. Stupid - in that kind and affectionate way of course. He'll be Dr. Smart just as soon as he starts paying more attention to me :)

Someone found my site after searching for "small boobs pics" which absolutely cracks me up!! And someone else searched for "pictures boys speedos". I think I'm going to start keeping track of these things and once I have a good list I'll post it somewhere.

So I said that I would explain Carl's scars if I had the chance and I found out what the big one on his arm was from. While he was in his Omega fraternity he had himself branded. I knew that's what it looked like but it's so big that I didn't think it was possible that it had been done on purpose. He said he was 19 and the whole group of them all had it done (and I think they did it themselves, how scary!). Yikes. While he and I were talking about it I should've asked about the big X on his head but I didn't. He called today while I was at work, I'd forgotten to turn my phone off. I had to make a run for it in my sandals (this is when Dr. Stupid saw me, thank goodness I didn't fall flat on my face) but I just shut it off instead of picking it up. He knows I'm at work and he knows that I don't have my phone on, he didn't leave a message and hasn't called tonight. Ok by me.

I spent an hour watching Kiefer, the episode that I missed last week was on. I can't wait for tomorrow. The good thing about missing last week is that now I get two new episodes two nights in a row! Only seven episodes left.

Ok, I'm pooped and tonight I'm determined to get to bed by 2. I must've been tired last night because my calculations were off. Going to bed at 3 and getting up at noon is not 10 hours. Plus the exterminator came at 9:30 and I had a hard time falling back to sleep. Do you all feel bad for me? No, I didn't think so.

4/6/03
I'm sooo sleeeeepy that this will be short. I'm sitting in my new computer chair and I love it. It was worth getting up early for but now that it's 2am I'm wondering why I'm still awake. I think I only got about six hours of sleep, not nearly enough for me. I have to try to make it up tonight, if I'm in bed in a half hour then I can get 10 glorious hours.

I saw a lot of Carl today. He picked me up this morning for the trip to Office Max. We did have fun wheeling around the office section. He came into the library to do some work. I think he was irked because I wasn't doing his work for him. He showed up at my place around 9:30 to put the chair together and he stayed until 11:30. He wanted to kiss me but I manuvered my way out of it. I should've just said something but it seemed too out of place. I'm a wuss.

New pics at the bottom of my pita picture page. Have you guys even seen a pic of Tom before, my boy from home? And there's a good pic of Henrik too.

I just had a glass of chocolate soy milk and I must say, it was very tasty! I was going to try it in the blender but I like it plain. Good stuff. Goodnight.

4/5/03
Finally, a background again! It almost doesn't look right, I've been without it for a long time now. Haven't I? I forget.

I put in another three hours at the beach today, which was absolutely fantastic. My parking lot was full and I was really frustrated, driving around in circles with about 20 other cars all waiting for a spot. I finally gave up but it turns out that just two blocks past that lot is another one and it was practically empty! My new secret place. I waded in the water, it's so much warmer than the pacific, I like that. The sun was out for my first hour or so but then it was cloudy. I just sat and read, I finally finished Bill Bryson's A Walk in the Woods which I've been working on since I got here, I think that was one of the first books I checked out. After getting back I showered and just hung out around here. I should've cleaned but I didn't. I did make some mashed potatoes.

I decided not to do anything with Carl, he was disappointed. But tomorrow I'm going to get up before work and we're going to Office Depot together. We both need computer chairs and they're going on sale. Getting up is not going to be fun, especially with daylight savings. Anyway, I think tomorrow after work he and I may rent a movie. And then I'm going to tell him about how we're just going to be friends. No really I will tell him. I will.

If Carl hadn't mentioned the time change I never would've known. Someone told me that it was next weekend and I was making mental notes because that's the day I fly back home after the conference and I don't want to get the time mixed up. So one less hour of sleep.

Ugh, that means it's 2:30 right now. Too bad I'm not tired. I'm going to get tomorrow's lunch ready.

4/4/03
Carl called at 10am. What was he thinking?? Thankfully I went back to sleep, of course I didn't get up to answer it. I rolled out of bed just before noon and was on the beach by 1! I even managed to go in to have my dress altered on the way, how great is that? They'll have it done by the middle of next week but I'll be out of town. It's gonna cost me 70 bucks, how horrible! Just when I was thinking that it was a reasonably priced dress...

The beach was really nice, I don't know why but there weren't many people around. I hadn't brought my watch because I was going to bring my phone but I forgot that in the car. I'm not good at judging how much time has passed, I didn't want to get back to the car only to find that I'd been at the beach for a half hour! Turns out I timed it perfectly, I managed about two hours and have kind of burnt my back, just the middle where the strap was - such an uncomfortable spot!

I went to two grocery stores and managed to stock up a bit. I bought about 85% organic, not too bad! The OJ, brownie mix, and bananas were just regular. Oh and Erika - I found some Merkts cheese!! I guess that probably doesn't count as organic but I bought it anyway!

Carl had called because he wasn't able to make it to the baseball game. He forgot that there was a school dance that he had to chaperone. He invited me along but I passed, groups of 7th graders are rarely what I'm the mood for. He called me after the dance and ended up swinging by. He wanted to go out but I didn't feel like moving from the couch. He took one look at me and thought I was sick - what does that say about how I look when I'm lounging around?!? Plus my face was really warm from all the sun today so he thinks I'm coming down with something. Evil me, I didn't tell him that wasn't the case. He stayed for almost an hour I suppose, we just sat and talked. He brought up the whole ideal mate, marriage, kids stuff that I wasn't in the mood to really talk about. I can tell that's he's a thoughtful guy though and he has some really interesting things to say. I tried to like him, really I did! No luck. We may do something tomorrow, we'll see.

Tonight I watched Bill Maher but I wasn't giving him my full attention. I need to ignore the world for awhile to let myself calm down and take a breather from it all. Bill is usually followed by Ali G but tonight it was Def Poetry Jam instead. I wasn't sure exactly what it was going to be but I loved it! I'm going to tune into that more often. Awesome poetry, stuff that I can actually understand. It made me wish for talent as a writer.

Ok, my head hurts so I'm going to crawl into bed.

Tonight's song: This one's gonna bruise by Beth Orton

4/3/03
I almost forgot to post tonight! It's almost 3am and I should've been in bed an hour ago at least. I need to get up at a somewhat decent hour. I'm going to go get my dress altered before it's way too late, and I'm going to the beach. I thought I had more than that to do... Well I also have to get to the grocery store.

Carl and I are going to the baseball game. I have free tickets from the rental office here and I want to go. Plus it gives me something to do on a Friday night. Of course we won't stay out because I want to be home for Bill Maher. Carl was in the library tonight and I have to say that he couldn't keep his eyes off of me. It's half flattering but the other half of the time I just feel bad for him! He is really good looking, I wish that I could make myself like him. I was telling Erika about the scar on his head (which he keeps shaved), it's like the X for xbox and is at least 4 inches long. And tonight I also noticed that he has a huge scar on his arm as well that looks like the letter omega has been burned into him. Hmmm, interesting. I'll let you know if I ever get the full story on them.

The trip to London is off because flight prices have gone up too much. But my parents seem to still want me to vacation with them. They don't really like to travel together, they got on each other's nerves too much so I'd be the mediator. Hey, free trip, I can handle the both of them! We're looking at August because there's a break between summer and fall semester so it wouldn't be trouble for me to get the time off. Dad mentioned Cancun, the Caribbean, New York, London, Paris and Greece. I would love to go back to my beloved country but at the same time I think it's best to leave well enough alone, you know? What if my friends have forgotten me? My waiters, my shopkeepers... I think of them so often but it's been 3 1/2 years since they've seen me. I think my trip suggestion will be the British Virgin Isles or something.

Ok, now it's after 3 and I really should get to bed. I'm not tired though, back to my old schedule!

4/2/03
Thankfully only one more day to go before my weekend! This week had kind of been a grumpy one for me at work. Next week will be short, I'm only in the library from Sun-Tue. I'm starting to look forward to Charlotte. Ever since I found out that Erika couldn't join me I haven't really wanted to go. I spend enough time alone around here, I didn't want to go to another city to be more alone.

I had a nice sighting this afternoon. He stopped to say hi. I would've gotten to talk to him more but I was busy with someone and then he started talking to Patrick. And once you start talking to Patrick it's hard to stop. He actually checked out a few movies, including Serpico. I'd never heard of that movie before but then I saw something about it on Ed and heard someone else mention it. I decided that it was all a sign that I needed to watch it and I was actually going to check it out this weekend!! I picked it out on Monday but put it back because I didn't want to check it out until Thursday (sometimes I forget to bring things back and the more time I could have it the better). Well now you know that I'll be watching that movie as soon as it's returned!!

Carl was in the library for quite awhile tonight. We chatted a bit here and there but that was it. I called him on Monday and left him a message but he never called me back! How strange considering how much he likes the phone. I have two tickets to a local baseball game and I was going to ask him to join me. He left tonight while I was helping someone so I never had the chance to ask. Oh well, whatever.

I talked to my parents tonight about joining them in London. That would be pretty cool, I'm glad that I get along with them well enough that I think taking a vacation with them would be fun! Sadly dad can't find the cheap flights online anymore so that may go down the hole pretty quickly. Otherwise they'll just come to see me for a week which isn't such a bad deal either. Dad's also thinking of taking a cruise. I wonder if that would include me too...

Tonight I was at Excite reading over my news and there were two headlines right next to each other. The first said that the reporters were not giving fair coverage of the war. The second said that reporters in the field were helping everyone to see all sides of the war. I'm tired of people who think that the news is being too negative about the war. Is there such a thing as being too negative about a war?? Who can say that war is a great thing and that the news should only portray our successes? I'm so frustrated about it all. So frustrated that I'm going to bed.

4/1/03
I didn't even realize until almost 9pm that it was April Fools Day. A professor from England was telling us that there, all jokes have to be played before noon. Interesting.

Everyone already had to hear about my Strain saga of the day so I won't go on and on about it here. He's just so darn cute that I can't be mad at him. Mad at him for not falling all over me I mean. But of course, that is exactly what I am upset about! And it's so depressing that he's going to be gone for the summer. I have a feeling that those four months are going to drag by. Not just because he won't be around but because of how quiet campus is going to be.

I wish I could say that the sight of Kiefer cheered me up - but I forgot to set my VCR this morning! No 24 for me. I'll catch the rerun next week and that's going to have to do. Since I watched last week's rerun just last night I kind of feel like I got my fill of the show, that will help tide me over.

Alright, I'm tired and had better get to bed. Only two more days to survive before the weekend, thank goodness.

3/31/03
Well there went March, where did it go? I suspect that April will also be over before we know it. How happy Erika must be that May is finally almost here!

It's been chilly down here, I'm wearing wool socks and two long sleeve shirts to keep warm. I don't feel like turning my heat on but it's crossed my mind several times. It's actually only 52, which is frightenly close to the 45 that it is in both Pipestone and Kenosha. Burrr! I want my warm weather back!!

Today was uneventful. I didn't get to see my crush, that's my favorite part of Mondays but no luck. We were a bit short staffed and it was busy but I guess that helped make the night fly by. I already want it to be the weekend again. Next weekend I'm in Charlotte and right now I'm not at all excited about it. Mostly because it means not getting any days off. Yes, they're days in another place but not screw around days. I've decided to add up everything I do at the conference on Friday and Saturday and will count it all as comp time. Really, it's only fair.

Tonight I finished reading New Rulers of the World, it's due back tomorrow so it was now or never. I skipped over the essay on Afghanistan, it was too depressing and because of that I was putting the book down a lot and that was making it hard to get it all read on time. Very interesting stuff though. The last essay is about the Aboriginies in Australia and how badly they have been treated. How is it that first world countries can be some of the worst discriminators of their own people? Sad, it was all sad.

It's 2:30 and I'm all tuckered out. Time for me to put another blanket on my bed and crawl in!

3/30/03
It hasn't been an exciting day so I don't have much to ramble about tonight. Work was the usual. There were quite a few people around right after we opened but by the end of the night there were only a few who stuck around. We even got to leave early! I got quite a bit done and that always feels good.

Carl called me around 1 but I didn't call him back. Honestly I meant to once I was home but then it slipped my mind. He knows that I'm at work so I don't know why he called right then anyway. Ok, I'm afraid to talk to him because I don't want to have to tell him that we're going to be just friends. I like to avoid situations like that. Or I just lie, which I can also see will not be the good way to go. I was telling my dad the other night that I would have to tell Carl soon but he disagreed. Good old dad, he read an article that says that men will decide by the 2nd date whether or not they'd like to continue seeing that person. Women on the other hand, take an average of 12-15 dates to decide. Um, that doesn't sound right to me... I hadn't even gone out with Carl once and I already knew. Dad thinks that I should get a few meals out of the guy first. Sorry dad, not gonna happen.

I'm trying to get the background back up but it's not working yet. I did get all of my pitapics back up. Guess the bad thing about archiving is that my Kiefer pic isn't going to work ever again because I can't get in there to change the html on it. Oh well, you may not care and I can always just look at the pic on my computer :)

It's not quite 2 so I'm going to finish this up. I have to get a few things ready to mail tomorrow (hooray, I'm finally done with the cross stitch!!) and then I'm off to bed.

3/29/03
Ah, another perfect weekend. Lots of sun and sand! I went to the beach for Friday afternoon. The clouds rolled in and it started sprinkling so I left the beach but about a mile down the road all of the clouds parted and the sun came back out so I turned back around and had a full two delightful hours at the beach. Of course since lots of others had left when it looked like we were in for a storm I had the beach mostly to myself. Of the people who had stayed I could hear lots of French and German. The Germans were in speedos, gotta love that about Europe. No, I don't mean I actually like speedos but I like that they're all comfortable in them (even the 300lbs man, he was quite the sight). A lifegaurd flirted with me as I was heading home but a convenient fake boyfriend put an end to that. I know, I know, I complain about not being able to meet people and then I lie to the guy who tries to talk to me. Leave me alone about it.

Today I actually rolled out of bed at 9:50 to clear skies! I met Diane and her husband at a dock where they picked me up. They spend their weekends on this boat so I had been picturing something a bit bigger but it was just a small one. Not that I cared, this worked! We went up and down the intercoastals spending plenty of time oogling the mansions along the water (Ralph Lauren has a home here, it was HUGE) and wondering what it would be like to live in such extravagant places. We stopped at a sandbar so that Diane's husband could fish, she and I just sat and talked. We left when we got hungry and we boated up to a floating snack shack! We all had hot dogs, yum! You just pull your boat up and they serve you right there. I was back at home by 3 but that had been plenty of time because it was hot and tiring to be out on the water! I'm not quite sure what I did this afternoon. I guess that doing nothing isn't very memorable. I talked to Erika and my parents, that's probably where the time went! And of course I had my Sat evening lineup to keep my occupied tonight.

Tomorrow and another week will begin. Not too long now before I head up to Charlotte for the library convention. And not long after that before I'm back in MN. The weather had better improve significantly in the next month - it was snowing in the Cities today, yuck!!

I haven't read any of the news over the weekend but I will catch up at work tomorrow. It's been nice to take a break from it all but I feel out of it. Everything seems to change so quickly. I did hear (on Bill Maher of course) that now half of our troops are in Iraq (or will be shortly). Um, I'm with Bill on the fact that we're kind of asking for bad things to happen now that we're a bit vulnerable without our best troops. I give up, there's just no end to the stupidity of our government.

Alright, enough from me, I'm going to bed so I can be perky at work tomorrow.

3/28/03
I was all excited to write a pita last night after my date with Carl but then my internet wasn't working!! How frustrating. Anyway, here goes.

After work yesterday (a day with no Strain sightings), I grabbed a quick bite to eat at home because I was worried that Carl and I wouldn't be able to find a place open so late that served food. Perkins does but that was not an option. So I called him at 10:30 and he says "ok I'm on my way" and hangs up! Hmmm, guess I must've explained where I lived before I became paranoid about him finding out. He called when he was at the complex and I just went out to meet him. We drove around looking for a place to have a drink and it took quite awhile before we finally found a place called The Martini Bar. It had velvet seats, cool light fixtures, good music that wasn't too loud, and a good crowd of people our age. Carl ordered a Cornona just because I did, he claims that it was the first time he's ever had a beer. I do not believe him. He went to college in Daytona Beach, that's why I find it impossible. And he's 32 for goodness sake. We sat and talked for almost three hours, I had such a good time!!!! At the end of the night he did that stretch where his arm ended up behind my shoulders which I thought was as funny as the phone signal thing. And he tried to hold my hand a few times but I managed to wiggle my way out of it. I'm still not attracted to him (that's something 3 Coronas will usually fix, not this time) but I would love to hang out with him again. All I need to do is make it so he knows that we're going to stay just friends. Any ideas on how to go about that??? Sounds like we may hang out next Thursday too so send ideas asap.

And that was my night out. Very fun and so good to get out of the house! I will admit that several times throughout the night I was wishing that a certian Dr. was sitting next to me instead. I'm going to have to be more aggressive on that one because he's the one I want!! Today it looks mostly sunny so I'm about to put on my swimsuit and head to the beach!! Last week I couldn't believe how full the parking lot was on a Friday so I hope I can get a spot without circling around for long.

I just looked at my flowering plants out back and they are full of buds!! Hopefully they will keep on flowering and growing even though I'm sure the soil was still full of mites. We'll see how long they last.

3/26/03
Well you've both gotten e-mails today about my dear Dr so I won't torture you with more of that here. Other than to say that I really really like that boy. But not in any obsessed stalker kind of way, in a good crush way. All that said, I'm going out with Carl after work tomorrow. I need to get out of the house more and what the heck, maybe he and I will hit it off or something. At the very least maybe I'll make a new friend. That sounds cheesy, I know. He has really eased up with the phone calls lately and that's a good thing.

I came home from work and watched West Wing, such a great show and I can't believe you guys don't watch it. I followed that with Law & Order and then shut the tv off because there was nothing else on. I read up on Buffy (thanks Diana!) and I may actually start tuning into that show again. I started watching that series when I lived in Montana, seems like FOREVER ago!! Kim and I were faithful viewers, she even taped all of the episodes that I missed when I lived in Athens (I had asked her to tape the XFiles but she taped Buffy instead because she liked that show better).

I'm on the phone with the cable company trying to get the web space so I can get my images set back up. I want to archive this page but will wait until my background is back up. Woohoo, now I have space and will get all this done sometime over the weekend. I can't wait to have my pita pics back up because I like to look at those. And if I ever feel like it I can dink around in Dreamweaver and I'll have a place to post stuff! How absolutely exciting.

Today I was online and came across a list of all of the dead and missing persons from the war. It made me tear up, I would've cried but I was at work. As young as 19. WHY WHY WHY?? How can anyone justify their deaths?? And what will the total number be, now that we know that this is going to take longer than expected? Saudi Arabia is proposing a peace plan but we all know Bush isn't going to listen. They also say it's possible that Saddam will now agree to leave the country to end the war. I know that's not going to happen either.

And the world keeps going around, despite it all. Good thing that some things stay the same. Alrighty, it's almost 2:30 and I had better get going. I've got to get a few other e-mails off and then I'm crawling into bed.

3/25/03
Finally, after waiting three very long weeks, 24 was back on the air!! Such a good feeling to watch the show and know that somewhere in tv land, Kiefer is taking care of the world. Have I already said that I would marry that man in a heartbeat?? Because I would.

I spent some time on the phone with Kim tonight, exactly one month from today is her wedding! Sounds like things are going pretty smoothly so that's good. Hopefully this Friday I can get around to having my dress altered so that's taken care of. I didn't do anything for the rest of the night other than watch tv and eat my pizza. I watched a David Blaine special, his magic is so cool, so much cooler than anyone else's. Of course I think his whole living in ice thing was dumb but I'll forgive him because the stuff he does on the street is awesome.

Again I read every editorial and letter to the editor at nytimes.com. There's a column about how America should set an example of following the Geneva Convention if we're going to expect other countries to do the same. While it's true that the prisoners that we have from Afghanistan are not really POWs (because they're not military personnel), they are of disputed status which means that hearings must be held. Do you know how long those men have been in Cuba now? And we've all forgotten about them. For awhile they were back in the news when a story broke about how horribly they were being treated but that was quickly forgotten too. I hate how quickly things are forgotten in this country. Anyway, there was also an editorial about the Senate and how they're withdrawing part of the budget. Whew, that's good news too. Can't the Bush team do math?? Isn't the vp so rich that he could fund this whole war with his own personal fortune? That's what I think he should have to do. Dick is up there on my list of enemies.

Well I'll stop right there. I could go on and on but I think everyone kind of knows how I feel about it all. And it's late enough that soon I will be making even less sense. It's almost 3 again, so much for my better schedule.

3/24/03
I just finished watching a TLC show about people who have sex changes. Very interesting, especially after watching Normal the other night. I also watched Maternity Ward. I could watch women having babies for hours. I spend most of the show cringing and thinking that it will never be me and then the rest of the time I think of how cool that could be. Perhaps adoption is for me, I always wanted a little Asian baby, they're the cutest.

I thought today would be a long day at work because two people were out sick and Ethan is still on vacation but it wasn't busy until the evening and by then we were fully staffed. I saw a lot of Chris this afternoon, he's feeling better and told me to stay well. He's growing a beard which significantly detracts from his good looks. If he'd always had this beard there would be no crush. Lets hope it disappears soon. I think that a month of not seeing him has kind of helped me get over him (ha, that makes it sound like we were together or something) but you know what I mean - I didn't spend the whole night raving to Shannon about things that he said or anything.

Today I'm reading headlines but not the stories. I just don't think I can handle reading about how more people are dying on each side. The old 'ignorance is bliss' thing. The people fighting are all about my age. I guess I feel like they all have to be older than I am to be involved in something like this. I thought that too after watching Black Hawk Down and finding out how young everyone was, they were all about 24 or 25. Mostly I just wish that all of this wasn't happening.

I wish I could remember exactly when I started my daily donations to Hunger Site and Ecology Fund. I was so excited to have hit a whole acre but now that I'm up to 1.5 I feel like it's just creeping along. Of course my goal is to click my way to five acres... any guesses as to when that will happen? 2007 maybe?? Next month I think I'm going to join as an official paying member and then my donations are doubled up to 1 acre so that should help.

Alright, somehow 3 crept up on me fast. I'd better get some sleep!

3/23/03
Well my weekend went just as I hoped, it was very relaxing but I got a lot done. On Saturday I swept and mopped the floor, paid my bills, cleaned the kitchen (again), made salads for every day this week, baked brownies, and watched my tv lineup! I would've gone to the beach but it was cloudy and a bit rainy all day.

I know, you're wondering what happened to Carl. He called at 12:30 Saturday to tell me that we were still on and that he'd call me later. At 6 I showered, at 7 I was hungry so I ate, at 8 I started watching my tv shows, and at 9 I was mad and happy at the same time. I shut my phone off and just watched tv. He called at 9:30 and left a message saying that he hoped we could still get together. I didn't bother calling him back. My internet wasn't working so I just kept on watching tv and then went to bed at 2.

Shannon called this morning to say she wasn't feeling well, that's 4 Sundays in a row that one of us has been sick! Work was slow and pretty boring so I tried to get a lot done. Carl had called again so I returned his call at 6 and kept it short. He'll be in the library on Tuesday so I'll see him then but he was really asking when we'd be able to go out. I tried to be vague but I guess that if we go out after work then we'd have to keep it short because he'd have to work the next morning. Well we'll have to see what kind of mood I'm in.

Tonight I didn't bother watching the Awards because most of the time I get bored. I did happen to flip past it as they were giving Michael Moore his award for best documentary. I'm not so sure that he should've gone on like that. I really like him but I think he just should've said thanks and left the stage - getting booed off wasn't the way to go.

I haven't been watching the war news on tv but I've been keeping up pretty well online. I'm now an official addict of the NY Times online. I love the editorials, the readers opinions, and the cartoons. I'll admit that I'm one of those people who thought that the war would be over in a matter of weeks, not any longer than that. Looks like maybe that's not going to be the case. Do you guys know any people who are serving over there? I realized today that I don't - except I'm guessing that flyboy is over there on the front lines, we haven't been in touch for a long time though.

Speaking of boys from the past, Henrik will be near New York for a show this week, the same one that I was at with him last year. Wish he'd offer to fly me up there again. I got a note from him this week with more pics of his place in Lusanne and with his tour schedule for the year. He'll mostly be in Europe but in October the big DEMA show is in Miami. That's a long ways away though. Since he STILL owes me money (and perhaps it's time to just give up on that) I'm keeping track of his movements :)

Alright, I'm going to get myself into bed before 2 again tonight, go me.

3/21/03
I think today was an example of my perfect day off. I spent several hours on the beach which was fantastic. I got some color but didn't burn. It was a hot one today, my car said that it was up to 94!! I don't turn on the ac in my car unless it's 87 or higher and I have to be on my way to work. So days like today I just put the windows down. It's better for the environment, that's why.

I made it to Home Depot to pick up dirt and a few plants. I went for the flowering ones even though I wasn't going to try that any more. There is one kind of plant that seems to survive the mites so I went with that kind and just planted them in the mite-filled mud and we'll see how they do. Then I cleaned up my terrance and repotted my other plants at last. They look much better than before, they were just in those cheap containers and the roots were trying to get out. I also made it to the grocery store. This time I went to a Publix near the Home Depot which is much bigger and better than the one I go to near me. Their organic selection was much bigger so I stocked up. I now have some frozen meals, pizzas, gardenburgers, more hummus, milk, cereal, fruit, tofu, pasta sauce, and cheeze-its. I've been snacking a lot tonight and it's so nice to have food around! Doesn't seem that long ago that I stocked up but it went quickly.

I talked to Carl this afternoon and we're going to go out tomorrow night. I'm trying not to dread it because I know it will be a lot of fun. But I also know that he's thinking along a different line than I am. How do I make that clear without being rude or mean? I'm so bad at stuff like that.

Tonight I watched the movie Normal on HBO. It was really good, it made me cry a few times. There was one part where this ornry old man has lost his memory and starts crying because he wants his mother. That made me think of something that I read once about how soldiers on the battlefield often cry out for their moms. Then I started crying because I thought of the people who died today far from the loving arms of their mothers. Anyway, the movie was a good one and I followed that with Bill Maher and Ali G, both of which were good.

Ok, time for me to get to bed. I was on such a good schedule of going to bed at 2 but last night and tonight have been later. Really it all boils down to the fact that I'm afraid of going to the gym. If I start getting up earlier then I have to go and deep down inside that scares me. One of my dear friends should move down here to keep me company at the gym. Anyone up for that??

And what is up with this week's boyfriend? Get back on track Meg!!

3/20/03
Finally my weekend is here! I look forward to doing very little over the next two days. If the weather cooperates I'll go to the beach at least one afternoon. My only other plan is to go to the grocery store and possibly to repot some plants (which I've been meaning to do since early January!). I also need to clean a bit - it was smart to leave the floors until after having company.

My dad and I struggle not to talk about the war because we both get each other worked up. Mom isn't for the war but she still likes Bush, dad says he's in the doghouse for some of his comments. Even without dad I get worked up. I imagine conversations with pro-war people and I get all pissed off at them - yes I mean that I'm mad at imaginary people in my head. I read today that one pro-war supporter had a sign that said "support the war or shut up". Why aren't these people seen as fighting against everything that makes America great?? And this whole thing with S Carolina getting upset over what the Dixie Chicks said is SO ridiculous. It had NOTHING to do with S Carolina!! Don't laugh but I signed a petition about it :) I just hate the implications of what happens when one person says one bad thing about the idiot in charge. And seriously, you can't tell me that the legislature there had nothing better to be doing with their time. I wanted to send the lady a letter but I decided that hate mail wasn't the way to go and I couldn't think of any way to nicely phrase what I wanted to say to her.

Carl called me this morning but I shut off the phone once I saw it was him. I know that's mean but I was in the library at the time and couldn't take it there anyway. I seriously did mean to call him back tonight but I forgot. I'll try calling tomorrow afternoon. I don't know yet whether or not I'd agree to going out with him, I'm sure he'll ask because he mentioned it on the message he left.

Well I just blew a half hour trying to find quick recipes for my crock pot, which I thought I'd try out this weekend. Problem is that I don't want to cook with meat and the few veggie recipes I can find are a bit too complex for my very unstocked kitchen. I have some potatoes, soybeans, and ritz crackers but that's about it. I don't know what made me search for recipes because I went to Google to see if I could find a picture of the Sydney opera house with No War painted on it like Mary had said in her e-mail. I did find the picture and I think my growling stomach made me start looking up food.

Ok, it's 3 and this is the latest I've been up in almost two weeks! I can clearly hear the rain outside, I think I'll crawl into bed and let the sound put me to sleep!

3/19/03
Tonight people in the library were buzzing about how we've started dropping bombs. At every chance I had, I pointed out to them that we've basically been bombing Iraq constantly and consistanly for over 10 years now. Too bad everyone doesn't know the truth about it all. No, I'm not saying that I know - just that it would be nice if we could all see the whole pictures. There's always more to it than what the government says...

On a bright note, I was thrilled to see that the legislation for drilling in Alaska did not pass! That means it's very unlikely that it will get thru with this Congress and is safe for a few more years! I was just sending last minute letters about it last night. Mom was happy that Coleman (the Rep in MN) voted against his party on it - that was one of his campaign promises. Of course he only voted against it after he waited until the votes were in and he knew that his vote wouldn't change the outcome.

My day in Boca was nice and short because Pat wanted to be sure I was back at the library by 5:30 since no one was there to cover for me. I was happy to leave early and allowed myself enough time for a stop at Whole Foods! I didn't pick up too much, just a few things of soup (the add water instant kind). Since I was back on campus by 5:15 I decided to go over to see if Chris was in his office after class. He was in there but the door was closed so I was out of luck. Diane told me that he was still sick so instead I wrote a little e-mail to him. I just said that I heard he had come down with the deadly Asian flu (that's what he'd been telling everyone) and I asked if he was in China over spring break and that I hoped he would be feeling better soon. He replied but the note only said "Thanks, Cathy. I really appreciate it. Stay Well!" Ok so I was hoping for more than six words. Now I've used up my e-mail opportunity and he didn't give me anything to reply with! So that's the end of that I guess. Shannon says that I should've included some real questions and she tried to make me feel like just getting a reply was a great sign. I didn't buy it. Well you can't say I didn't try.

Alright, it's just past 1 and I think I'm going to get ready for bed. I'm tired and just have to make it thru one more day at Boca. Finally my weekend is almost here!

3/18/03
Ok, I won't rave too much tonight. I'm not in the mood to get all worked up about the uncontrollable downward spiral of the US. I watched Bill Maher tonight since I had missed the show on Friday and I enjoyed it as always. Dennis Miller is very conservative. I thought comedians were all liberal - no, I don't know why I thought that... Anyway, most of the talk was about Iraq of course. Inevitable war, I can't get my mind wrapped around it. I read all of the editorials in the NY Times today and I really don't see where this high rate of support for the war is coming from. I heard today that support was at 70%, can that be right?? That's for war even without UN backing. Who are they asking?? Certainly no one that I know.

This morning I was up early to take Mel and Anssel to the train station. It kind of feels like they were never even here, the weekend went by so fast and kind of felt surreal. They bought me a beautiful plant as a thank you - I hope I can keep it alive! It's an orchid, I've never owned one of those before!! It's too bad they couldn't have been around this afternoon though, the weather was so beautiful until about 5 when it started to rain. Mel went back without the slightest bit of sun but at least she had warm weather.

Last night was cockroach number 2, yuck. It was in the kitchen and I just stood staring at it for awhile as I devised a plan. I just told Anssel about it and he came and did away with it. I had really hoped to not have one while I had guests!!! But at the same time, it was nice having someone else there to take care of it :) I went to the rental office today and signed up for the pest control. They were surprised my name wasn't on the list but they never said a word about it to me! Anyway, the guy will be here next week to spray and will come regularly.

Erika has taken back her comment that she feels bad for Carl and now it's ok with her if I blow him off and break his heart. He wanted me to ditch my friends Thursday and/or Friday night and when I said no, he was all upset that he would have to go for three whole days without seeing me. I started to kind of freak out when he started reciting the outfits that I'd been wearing this week!! Yesterday he called me before work - and everyone knows how I feel about morning phone calls. I kept that call really short and he said that he'd talk to me later. I haven't heard from him and he didn't show up at the library tonight as he had promised. Ok by me. I'll keep you posted.

Alright, I'm going to get to bed since I have another afternoon in Boca to get up for. I cannot wait for this weekend so I can just sleep!

3/17/03
A pita at last!!! You're in for the recap of my long weekend which I'll try to keep short or else I'll go on forever.

Melanie and her boyfriend Anssel arrived on Thursday afternoon and after work that night we spent the evening catch up and drinking rum and cokes. We headed to Bonita Springs the next morning via Alligator Alley. It was so cool to see the eyes of alligators in the canals along the road! The parents of the bride (Angie) were putting us up at a hotel which was super nice of them. We went and met everyone involved with the wedding at a seaside condo (the bride's parents are kind of rich) and we spent the afternoon on the beach relaxing. That night was the rehersal dinner and the bridal shower, Angie was so nice to include me in everything. It wasn't a late night and surprisingly, I was actually tired by 1 so that was good!

Melanie spent Saturday with all of the bridesmaids (there were six attendants) so Anssel and I were on our own. We went out for hotdogs and then played a round of mini-golf, which was new for him. We had a great time and we both did really well! The rest of the afternoon was spent at the pool because the weather was perfect. Then we headed off to the beach for the wedding. It was so beautiful, I can't imagine a better day or better weather for the event. The sun was red and huge, setting behind the couple as they were married. The ceremony was Jewish and was short, I like that. The reception was a ton of fun with good food and a really great group of people.

The next morning we swung by the condo for brunch and then headed back to WPB. We were so excited because after driving thru a lot of rain, we came home to sunshine! So we changed into our suits and made for the beach. Sadly, in the short time it took us to get there, clouds had moved in and after about ten minutes it was raining with lots of thunder and lightening. So we spent some time at my place watching movies and then we decided to get ambitious and get out. We went to downtown WPB to City Place where we wandered around the plaza, had dinner followed by drinks at a bar that everyone has told me about, and then we went to see City of God, a Brazillian film. I'm sure that it's a good movie but much like Our Lady of the Assassins, it was just too much sad violence for me. Lots of kids killing kids and the such. By the time we finished the movie it was time to head home and go to bed!

And that brings us to today, which has not been exciting. I had another afternoon in Boca followed by a long evening at Jupiter. Another Monday without seeing my crush, though I did decide to walk over to his building just to talk to him - I get points for that. But he wasn't around. I spent too much time upset about Bush and the choices he has been making lately. IDIOT. And now I'm sitting around with Mel and Anssel, they leave tomorrow. I look forward to having the place back to myself, three is a few too many around here. Not that we're on each other's nerves or anything like that - but I need control of my remote!!!!

Ok, that was the recap! Tune in tomorrow for my ravings against my government that have been fueled by the book New Rulers of the World which I have been quoting all day!!

3/13/03
I'm writing this from work, that's a first since I've gotten here. There is only one person in the library and she's our regular lady. I still have a half an hour and I've already done everything except for locking the door.

I woke up this morning at 10:45 even though my alarm wasn't set to go off for another hour. That's unusual!! But I was awake and couldn't get back to sleep so I got up anyway. I neatened up my living room, swept my terrace, made lunch, walked to my mailbox (which was empty), and got to work five minutes early. We had our annual meeting which was boring and followed that with our staff meeting which was also kind of boring. I went to pick up Melanie and her boyfriend Anssel from the train station and took them back to my place. I wish that I could've just stayed there with them! Instead I came back to work. I made it back right before we had an unbelievable storm with torrential rain and even hail! It's stopped now but I can still see the lighing from my window.

Carl was in tonight but we didn't talk much. He left without saying goodbye and I feel a bit miffed. Not so much as a wave. We'd better still be on for next week because I was looking forward to that. Diane has told two friends of hers about me and it sounds like I'll be meeting them sometime. I'm guessing they're closer to her age (early 40s) which is out of my range, but from what she's said about them I think they'd make better friends anyway.

Well, I'm off to go make sure Tom has finished up his stuff and then we're outta here! Tonight Mel is mixing drinks and we'll just relax and catch up. We take off in the morning for Bonita Springs!!

3/13/03
Well I didn't go to Boca today because I still wasn't feeling so hot this morning. Instead I just stayed on campus and got caught up in my office which was nice. There was a slimeball who thinks he's the hottest man on earth (um, not by a LONGSHOT) and he was really on my nerves today. Then Pat told me I talked too much and that didn't sit well with me. Sometimes I think Pat would prefer it if we all just didn't talk to each other ever. She thinks if we're talking then we're screwing off. Whatever.

Carl was the highlight of my night because he always has a smile on his face and has something nice to say to me! I did it, I gave him my number. I stopped by and gave him my card with my home number written on the back. I think that may be the first time I've ever done that without someone actually asking for it. Anyway, I was very surprised when I had a message from him by 10:05 - he had just left the library at 9:15!! Anyway, we chatted for bit, he wanted to know if I wanted to go out and grab a bite to eat but I said not tonight because I wasn't up for it. We'll probably go out next weekend. How crazy is that?? This seems like it came out of nowhere!!

Erika pitys Carl because I'm going to break his heart of course. Well I still like Chris and if it had been him asking me out then I'd be on cloud 9. Instead I'm kind of on cloud 4 or somewhere in the middle. But I haven't seen Chris in over two weeks and I probably won't see him until next week at the earliest. I'll try to let Carl down easy when the time comes ;)

Ok, it's 2:30 and time for bed. Slowly but surely I'm going to bed earlier and earlier! Tomorrow I go into work at the usual hour of 1:30 and it will feel like I'm really sleeping in!

3/11/03
I'm sitting here trying to think of something interesting to write about and nothing is coming to mind. I'm kind of on a high from all of the cleaning spray that I've used in the last half hour. I scrubbed the sink, tub, and toilet. Tomorrow that leaves the bathroom mirror and counter. I'm not going to bother with the floor. I used the old excuse that it will be better to clean up after everyone has left instead of cleaning before they come and make a mess of it. No, they won't really make a mess but that ruins the excuse. I also did three loads of laundry tonight. Woohoo, what an exciting night.

Seriously, my head is spinning. I'm going to go lay down!

3/10/03
Only two nights after this one before Melanie arrives! That doesn't leave me much time to clean this place up. The tub still needs to be scrubbed, the floor deserves to be mopped, I'd like to have the terrace looking a bit better, and my bedroom still has empty walls with everything on the floor. Hopefully tomorrow night I'm more ambitious.

I was out of bed at 9:45 this morning which was not fun. I was still running late but made it to campus and arranged to take a state car. Boca wasn't really exciting. It's a much larger - and therefore much busier - library with a staff so big that they don't all know each other's names. I worked at the reference desk and spent most of the time wishing I was just at my own library where I belong. But I'm stuck doing this so I guess I should just try to learn stuff. I had a chance to stop by home for a short break on my way back to campus and changed into a new outfit. I wore a new skirt, shirt and my new sandals!! Everyone thought I looked really cute and I recieved several compliments on my shoes! I only teetered a few times and before the end of the night I was walking in them like a pro. Of course I had kind of hoped that Chris would drop in but he didn't. I always look forward to Monday nights for that reason but I was out of luck.

Tomorrow will be more of the same but I've arranged to leave later because they don't need me in Boca that early. Pat just laughed because she knows it's because I'd rather sleep!! But I'm too old to work such long days and I really don't want to be cranky in the evenings.

Artist that I'm listening to tonight: Nitin Sawhney

3/9/03
Well I'll keep this one short because I've got to get up early tomorrow and I can't stay up late! It's not even 1 yet so I should be in good shape. I have to go down to Boca for three days this week and four days next week to do some training. No, I don't need training and no one knows exactly why Pat wants me to go but whatever. It's an hour drive there but it could take over two hours getting back because of the traffic. Ugh. Hopefully I can take a car from school but I have to get to campus early tomorrow to find out and to make arrangements.

Today was very uneventful. Trish called in sick so it was just Shannon and I all day. We were actually busy for awhile early on but then it came to a stop and we had tons of time to get work done (and to talk a lot of course). The best part was that everyone was gone by 8:45 so we left ten minutes early!! That's very unusual, there always seems to be at least one person who wants to stay until the very end. I was home by 9, just in time to catch the beginning of Law and Order. I followed that with an interesting show on poligamy in Utah (those people are NUTS) and then watched the last part of The Birdcage. Like I said, an uneventful day.

Check out this article that I enjoyed at work this afternoon. So true... Bush is setting a bad example. Not exactly new news but still. Of course I didn't see him on tv the other night but now I wish I had. What's this about him appearing as though he was on drugs?? I know it had to have been bad for even my mom to admit that he looked pretty strange - and she was upset that he hadn't answered any of the questions. My dad was even more worked up but mom told me not to talk about it because once his blood pressure was up he couldn't get to sleep!

Ok, I won't get myself worked up or I'll never get to sleep either! It's only 1:30, this may be a Sunday night early record.

3/8/03
Aaaah, what a great weekend!! I wish it wasn't over, I had such a wonderful time. On Friday I got up and headed down to Ft Lauderdale and made a beeline for the outlet mall!! I had four or so hours and boy did I ever shop. Um, a few hundred dollars later... But I'm thrilled with everything. I bought some work clothes, a sundress for the wedding next weekend, a cute pair of shoes, two plant stands that already look good on each side of my entertainment center, two prints that I've wanted forever from Target (South Africa drawings that will go perfectly above each plant stand), spare pillows, lipstick (I actually managed to pick two good colors, go me), and a crock pot. That sums up just about everything. Perhaps this month I won't donate to any cause because that was a lot of money...

Anyway, after shopping I found my way over to Julie and her grandma! I LOVE grandparents. Her grandma is 82 and still plays tennis every day - in a short skirt!!! Too funny. And she'd be doing lemon shots right before I arrived. She's from South Dakota and we actually knew some of the same people! Anyway, her boyfriend Ken was also there and he was a hoot (he'd also been drinking). We snacked and just chatted away before sitting down to a really good dinner that Julie made. After that we played some mean games of cribbage. They had to teach my how to play and I must've been blessed with beginners luck because I did well! At 10 Ken went home and Carol went to bed (not before playing me a few songs on her keyboard) but Julie and I stayed up to play more cribbage and drink more wine. By 12 even I was tired!! We crawled into bed and just read until we fell asleep, it was so nice to be around people and to eat good food.

Julie woke me up at 10 and we put our swimsuits on!! Seriously there is no better way to start a day. Carol made waffles but I just had grapefruit and banana bread. We headed for the beach and stopped off at a place along the river (called the Riverwalk but not nearly as cool as San Antonio's) and looked around a bit near downtown. The beach was really crowded, especially compared to the one that I go to here. You can tell that it's spring break too, lots of frat boys drinking beer and throwing footballs. We just soaked up the sun, looked for good shells, and swam in the shallow water. We both got some color - it's hilarious because only one side of my face really caught the sun because we were talking to each other and I was always turned to look at her!!! We both tried so hard not to miss spots with the sunblock but I'm burnt along all of the lines of my suit. Oh well, I'll take what I can get. We had dinner at a place right along the beach (which played some of my fave chill out songs!) and headed back to grandma's after that. I stayed there long enough to freshen up and then said goodbye. What a great time though, I wanted so badly to stay another day.

Since getting home I've unpacked and set up the plant stands, have tried on my outfits and have struted around in my new cute sandals (wearing them in so I can wear them on Monday), and watched my Sat night shows. I'm tired after a full day so I hope to be in bed soon.

Well I might not actually sleep. While I was writing I saw something move off to the side. My first cockroach. I went and stood on the couch for a few minutes as I tried to not totally freak out (I totally freaked out anyway) and I developed my plan of action. All of my shoes were in the other room except for my new sandals which would've required getting too close and I wouldn't do that to a new pair of shoes. So instead I picked up the SLC magazine that Faith had sent me, it's nice and bulky. I bravely moved in for the kill but then it scurried a few inches which made me jump which made it scurry which made me jump... this continued for what seemed like forever before I just leaned in and dropped the magazine. Then I stepped on it to make sure because I could just imagine picking it up and finding that thing still alive... EW EW EW. Now I don't want to look so it's all still on the floor behind me. I did get up the guts to go look under the sink and it seems like he was alone here. I may not always have the cleanest kitchen but I don't keep food out or anything. How often is this going to happen?? How did he get in here?? Tomorrow I'm going to the office to see what I can do to make sure this was the first and LAST incidence.

Hopefully I will get my nerves back together and will be able to sleep without imagining that there are more where he came from....

3/6/03
I decided today that the library is a nice place with no people around. We could all talk out loud, holler across the room, or just act crazy without worrying about who was looking (which was nice because I was kind of dancing in the books...I was in a good mood). Once the day staff left I turned on some Moby in the back and just worked to clean up my section of books. The time just flew by and for once I can honestly say that I wish I could've stayed longer! Of course I could've just stayed there on my own but I have the ability to seriously freak myself out at night when I'm alone outside the comfort of my living room.

Instead I came home and watched Friends (pushed back thanks to the idiot's speech). Then I talked to Erika and my parents. I watched some Discovery channel after that but there's never anything good on Thursday nights so I gave up. I washed my dishes at last and neatened up a bit. Not exciting but it had to be done sometime.

And now I'm off to bed so I can get a good start to Ft Lauderdale tomorrow. I want at least four hours at the outlet mall, even that may not be enough!

3/5/03
Where do the weeks go? It's almost my weekend again already! The library will be closed tomorrow and Friday because of the noise and mess that's expected with the construction. Unfortunately, this doesn't mean paid days off, which I seriously think is in order. Instead, we'll go in and work in the back of the library cleaning and making sure everything is in order. I'll be going in from 12:30-9 and I should be lucky enough to miss most of the commotion. I guess it'll be a good time to get some work done without the distraction of students. Plus, we can talk at normal voice level and I can play music on my computer! They contractors swear that they'll be in and out - with everything cleaned up by the time they leave on Friday. No one really believes them so I guess we'll see how it looks later.

This is the weekend I'll be going down to Ft Lauderdale to see my friend Julie who's visiting her grandma there. She went to Concordia and was roommates with Kristi. When she lived in Minneapolis Kim and I would sometimes get together with her. She's one of those people who is just so nice and I'm thrilled she's invited me down there. I'll stop at the outlet mall for the afternoon and then will head over to have dinner with them. I'll stay the night and we'll either wander around the town or we'll hit the beach on Saturday. I can't wait for a full weekend of fun!!!!

I've been on a Beth Orton kick today and last night too. But then tonight I caught a little bit of Jeff Buckley and now I'm rehooked on Hallelujah. Had to happen sometime.

Wednesday, March 5, 2003
Kiefer makes my Tuesdays worth living for. I cannot believe it but Fox is going to make me wait THREE WEEKS for the next episode!! I don't know if I'll be able to survive or not. I guess I've gotten thru worse things.

My internet wasn't working last night, that's why I skipped a post. And internet at work was on and off too. They're doing some construction and they hit a few lines. Some of our lights aren't working, some of the computers blinked, and then the internet was up and down. The worst part was all of the noise and I guess I missed the really bad stuff in the morning. We may even close on Thursday and Friday when a large portion of our ceiling will have to be taken down. The only problem I have with that is my hours, it's impossible to adjust to a day shift but I don't exactly want to stay until 10pm all by myself either! We'll see how it goes.

Last night I made pad thai for dinner and it was so tasty. The box makes enough for two but I ate it all in one sitting. I was even hungry enough a few hours later for a snack. So stocking up at the grocery store did pay off! I haven't done any dishes since and my kitchen is a bit of a mess because of it. And then I wonder where the fruit flies come from.

Well, it's 2:30 and I'm tired so I'm going to get going. I liked staying up late better but at the same time I like being up with plenty of time before work. It's taking me a bit longer than I planned for me to have enough time in the morning to go to the gym though. It's still in the plan... some day...

3/2/03
Well there's no going hungry anymore! I went to the grocery store and loaded up. Fruit, veggies, sweets, snacks, you name it. I bought as much organic as possible. I didn't buy organic spagetti though, that cost $2/12oz and the regular kind was $2/36oz. I did find some good stuff for lunches that will make things a bit more healthy and will add a variety which is always good. The funny thing is I've barely eaten a thing tonight, I just wasn't hungry. I did have a toasted pita with hummus which was gorgeous (I like saying that, a British friend of mine used to always say that about food she liked).

Amazingly enough I have not watched tv tonight. I would've if there had been a Law & Order episode on or a good movie on HBO but nope, nothin. I looked online, I didn't even turn on the tv to check. Instead I cranked up the music of my new cd and danced around the kitchen as I cleaned, made salads for lunches, and enjoyed a beer. Life is good.

Since it's spring break we're allowed to wear casual clothes all week. You think this would make the decision of what to wear a bit easier but now I really can't decide on anything. It's too cold for tshirts, let alone any tank tops and that kind of covers my casual clothes.

Alright, I'm going to stop right here or I'll just keep going with random thoughts until I fall asleep. Instead, I'm going to crawl into bed. Yes, that means I'll be in bed before 2:30. I started this entry an hour ago but got distracted. The Bowling for Columbine site has a link to the Library at the top of the page and from there you can go to Operation Oily Residue which has some really really REALLY interesting articles (that was my way of saying go read them). But watch out, you'll stop doing work and will just read the articles...

3/1/03
The first of the month already! I forgot that rent would be due today and made it to the office after they closed. They had warned me about the fine for paying after the 1st... I wonder if they meant that. Hopefully not, I didn't mean to be late!!

It was too cloudy for another day at the beach. Instead I decided to go to the mall. My hair is getting long and is looking a bit frumpy but it's hard to find a new place to get a cut, I've been to some bad places in the past! I went to Regis at the mall and really like how it turned out. It was just trimmed about two inches but the layers look nice. I had to wait an hour and half before the appointment so I did some shopping. I had a coupon for Ann Taylor Loft but didn't see a thing that I liked (well, not something I could afford, even with a discount). I did buy two tops at Express that look cute and I got a good deal on them. I tried to just wander around without going into stores because the temptation is just too great. And I have no one to hold me back either. After getting my hair cut I decided that buying just one cd would be a treat. Why I think I deserved a treat is beyond me but whatever. I bought Ultra Chilled 3, which is excellent and was totally worth it!

Tonight my stomach has been a bottomless pit. I can't get enough to eat but I have nothing on hand!! The amount of times I have looked in my near-empty fridge is ridiculous. I want sweets but restrained myself because if I eat them all in one night I'll really be sorry. I would've just made brownies but I already boiled all of my eggs for sandwiches. I'm about to whip up a smoothie and hopefully that will hold me over for awhile.

This is probably the earliest I've done a pita in a long time! It's just past midnight. The tv is off (wonder of wonders) but not for long. There was nothing good on once I was done with my Iron Chef/Trading Spaces lineup and I decided I'd rather listen to my music. At 12:45 The Wedding Planner is on and I want to watch. A movie like that is just what I need. Then it's off to bed so I can be ready for work in the morning. Another work week is about to begin.

2/28/03
Moving to another country sounds better and better every day. I have to really restrain myself from looking at int'l job postings because I know that I need to put in a full year or more here. But oh, how I would love to be an ex-patriot. I always wondered why Americans living abroad were called that. Now I can understand because when I move it will be because this country has driven me away. I used to love it so much and am heartbroken that now I feel a need to separate myself from America. From where I'm sitting, Iles Loyaute looks perfect. Or Tuvalu.

But no, burying my head in the sand is not the answer. Instead of believing that war is inevitable (which Bush would like us all to think), I will continue to do what I can! I signed another war petition. I wish there were more to sign. I hear that the virtual march on Washington was a pretty big success and was covered pretty well by the media. Tomorrow I'm going to try to post some interesting links on the right to independant media and other anti-war places where you can take action if you'd like to!

I watched Bill Maher tonight and am so happy he's back on the air, though I wish he was still on network tv. A guy called in from WI and started out by saying that he was proud of his country and that "America is the best." Bill asks him how he knows that and the guys goes "because I live here." Bill wouldn't even let the guy ask his question because he was too busy being upset that most Americans never look over the fence, we just assume that we really are the only democratic society out there. Such an ignorant notion. Plus, I read this afternoon that 42% of Americans believe that Saddam was behind Sept 11. Um, how did they miss the whole Bin Laden thing? How can they have gotten this confused? I can't even blame that on Bush because even he hasn't actually claimed that. So we're a nation that has some misinformed people and we're not going to do anything to fix that because all of the money is going to the military, not to education. Ah, the problems are snowballing. Will it ever end? I read tonight that Bush actually wants to bring about the Armageddon, what if this is the beginning of the end?

Yes, I need to stop thinking about it. See, this is what another Friday night alone does to me!! I had a good day though, I went to the beach as planned! It was a bit cloudy but the sun came out just enough to keep me happy. And just laying at the beach listening to the waves was so nice. I only left when it started to sprinkle and was home when it really started to rain. The rest of the afternoon/evening was spent online, watching tv, and reading a book. Now I'm going to go to bed - before 3am and everything!

2/27/03
Sometimes I think I hear voices when I'm in my bathroom. The more I try to listen the less I can hear. Bizzare.

It was one of those days when I look back and don't remember much of what happened. I was kind of scolded at work because I never replied to an e-mail that Pat sent to me asking for my opinion of a database. Oops. I like to put all my e-mails in folders (after learning my lesson that just deleting e-mails that I thought were useless isn't a good idea either) but sometimes once they're in folders I never look at them again. I guess the worst part is that she reminded me on Monday that she wanted my response. Note to self - stop letting everything go in one ear and out the other.

Next week is spring break. I wonder if students here go anywhere, they're already in a popular spring break location! The library will keep it's usual hours and I'm guessing it's going to be very quiet. I'm just glad we're not going 9-5 because I don't know if I could do it!! It would of course be really nice if this was a paid break.

Somewhere in the world there was Tastefully Simple party tonight. Wish I could've been there. Is the beer bread as good as I heard? I was at the website tonight and made a mental shopping list. Perhaps I'll have to check on where my nearest rep is.

There's a family of fruit flies living with me. Man those little things are hard to kill. I cleaned up my kitchen a bit, put my bananas in the fridge, and ran my disposal just so they wouldn't have any food.

Ok, this is early for me to go to bed on a weekend night but I'm tired! And the weather report for tomorrow is looking much more promising so I hope to hit the beach!

2/26/03
Only tomorrow and then it's my weekend!! This afternoon I looked at the weather report and it says that both Friday and Saturday we're expecting thunderstorms. How horrible is that?? I'm hoping they're wrong. They said the same thing for last Saturday and it turned out to be beautiful all day. I want, no I NEED a day at the beach! It will work wonders, I just know it.

Tonight I came home to my whole tv lineup. Have I raved enough about West Wing already?? I was a bit worried because they weren't saying "stay tuned for scenes from next week's all new episode..." That's ok, I need to catch up on reruns too. After watching my shows I didn't have time to watch much else. Tv has to be off by 2am on work nights, otherwise I'll be up all night! I did manage to catch an episode of the History of Sex on the History channel. It was really interesting, it mostly focused on the Middle Ages and the Renaissance and talked about people's views of prostitutes and the such. It was funny because even back then boys were drawing dirty pictures in the corners of their school books!!! Some things will never change.

For the third day in a row I was early to work, today only by a half hour but it all adds up! Getting up is making me tired at night so I think this will be a good thing in the end. Now I just need to make sure that I don't mess it all up over the weekend by sleeping in too much or by staying up really late. We'll see if I can do it!

I'm listening to a bit of Gary Jules to see what Meg was talking about. I like him.

2/25/03
I managed to get up early this morning and it took it's toll. I was crabby this evening and think it's time for me to get to bed. I know, a let down for those of you who wait and anticipate my pita. Sorry! But I don't have anything interesting to say anyway. Maybe tomorrow I will have time for e-mail and exciting things will happen so I can write about them at night. For now, my bed is the only place for me to be!

2/24/03
Well adjusting my schedule isn't working very well. I snoozed for an hour this morning and got up at the same time I always get up. I did make it to work early though, I think because I didn't let myself turn on the computer which always distracts me. I'm trying to get in early every day so that it will slowly add up.

Work wasn't exciting but I kept really busy with my project for the first half of the day. Our last few hours were busy, we had lots of people in and everyone seemed to need a bit of help with something. I finally had a few good reference questions that I could really work on with some knowledge and nothing is better than knowing you really helped someone find exactly what they were looking for!! I was really frustrated with a couple of groups who came in to work and didn't want to leave. We ended up having to stay late trying to get everyone out. I wasn't in the best mood by then and next time will not be so accommodating! I've got to stop being so nice sometimes.

Chris came into the library tonight right after I had stepped into my office. Shannon called to say she needed help at the desk so I went back out and she excitedly told me where he was in the books and what he was wearing. I just laughed it off, finished what I was doing and went back to work. I think Shannon doesn't want my crush to end because it amuses her so much, she thinks it's cute. And she's sure that he was only in tonight to see me. He never came in on Monday nights before he met me and now we see him every Monday night. Well I was busy helping people and didn't end up getting to say hi or anything. It would be cool if he was coming in just to see me but I'm certainly not believing it. It does make Mondays much better though.

Tonight I stopped by the grocery store on my way home to pick up bananas because my organic ones never did ripen, they're still very green and impossible to peel. I also grabbed another pack of tofu and some bottled water. I get up to the register and the lady looks at the tofu, which has a picture of a smootie on it, and says 'you can do that with tofu??' It was so funny. I explained how it was really really good and that you couldn't taste the tofu in it at all. I don't think she believed me but she wanted to know exactly what I put in the smoothies so she could try one sometime!!! I thought that was so great. Anyway, I had one tonight and it was soooo goooood as always.

Well I wasn't even going to write a pita tonight because I was so tired but you know how it is once you get going! Hopefully I can keep being tired until I crawl into bed!

Oh and Erika was right in pointing out that the church is starting to keep up with the times (some churches have even been ahead of their time). I decided that really it all goes back to my childhood and how I can't imagine church as being anything but torture that had to be endured. And it also probably relates to my mom and how conservative she is - and how I see her and the church as being on the same level and stuff. Enough of that, I must go sleep.

2/23/03
It's 2am and I'm not hungry. I'm usually hungry right about now, which always troubles me because I don't want to eat too much before going to bed, and also I have so little spare food that having four meals a day isn't practical. I also can't make up for the hunger by drinking water because... well that's obvious since I'm going to bed soon.

On the way to work today, Shannon asks if I'm still interested in attending church with her sometime. I didn't know what to say but I told her I wasn't so sure about that anymore. I thought about it over the day and on the drive home told her that I wasn't going to go. The church stands for so much that I don't agree with - and even if the preachers aren't talking about it I don't think I'd be comfortable. I get the strangest feeling in my gut when I think about it... I can't really explain it other than that it's close to uneasiness. Did you know that the church was the biggest supporter of the KKK for years? Pastors would strongly encourage their congregation to join up and often led the pack. Looking back over history, I think the church has been on the wrong side of most issues. I would give more examples but then I'd never shut up. I'm throwing in the KKK one because I was reading up on that the other day. And I think everyone knows how I feel about missionaries - don't even get me started. I don't believe most of what the Bible has to say, I think Jesus wasn't white, I think God created all religions so that different people would have different ways of finding him, and I think most Christians are hippocrites and Republicans (to make matters even worse!). So yeah, no church for me. Shannon tried to understand where I was coming from (no, I didn't even start in on the above topics, I just said that church and I didn't agree) and she said that if there were any cool/fun events going on that weren't going to be churchy but where I could meet people she'll invite me. I won't turn down an outing.

Whew. I've actually had religion on my mind lately and like my dislike for conservatives, it's been growing and I just had to let it all out!

Must get to bed. This week my plan is to slowly adjust my schedule and by next week I should be able to get up at 10am. Must start going to the gym, I'm the weakest person I know and muscles would be nice!!

2/22/03
Saturdays are so nice. It turned out to be a beautiful day outside, despite the weather reports saying it would be cooler and stormy. It did start to storm after sundown, my power even blinked a few times and the thunder was loud enough to make me feel the rumble! I do wonder what hurricane weather will be like. I've decided not to buy any furntiture for my terrance because the rain comes right in and would ruin anything. Plus that will save me money because outdoor furnature isn't cheap.

I'm much more cheery tonight than last night, thank goodness. My day was uneventful, I took a walk, cleaned a bit, and just relaxed around here. I went out for dinner with Diane and her husband along with a couple that they know. Shannon decided to join us and we all had a lot of fun. We all just talked and laughed, told stories and the such, we stayed until the restaurant closed at 9. It felt SO GOOD to be out with a group where I felt comfortable, even if I hadn't known three of the people before. We lingered in the parking lot and I think we would've talked out there for another hour but Shannon had to get going.

Shannon and I talked/laughed all the way home about Chris. She doesn't think my crush will end. Maybe it won't end but I'm going to stop obsessing. No really, I am. Seriously. Just because I spent an hour online yesterday looking to see what I could find... it doesn't mean anything. I got it out of my system. Now I'm done. Yeah.

After getting home I was in a cheerful mood. I would've liked to have stayed out longer but oh well, some other time. I called home and talked to dad for awhile, mom wasn't home but she called me back later. They're going to Hawaii this week and they're both looking forward to that. I watched the usual tv shows, Trading Spaces and Iron Chef. I also watched a pasty competition and then caught most of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. I like that movie. Paul Newman was a hottie. I was going to keep on watching tv but it's getting late and I have to work tomorrow!

I'm going to wear flip flops to work. Diane told me tonight that Pat once wore hospital slippers around for the day. Yes, she's a bit of an oddball. Anyway, Diane says that she won't say anything about shoes. I'm a bit worried about having cold toes, that's all. But my flip flops go so well with my skirts and this means that 1. I don't need more shoes and 2. I don't have to wear nylons. Hooray.

I'm hooked on ambient music.

2/21/03
The day always starts off right when the first thing I put on is a swimsuit. I headed over to campus and attended Chris's seminar. Today is actually the anniversary of Malcolm X's death. It was all really interesting, mostly just a review of Malcolm's life and why/how he's become the figure that we know him as today. I was going to quick say hi to Chris afterwards but someone else beat me to him and they actually had an intelligent question so I just left. The beach was calling me!!

I love the beach. I found myself a spot and soaked up the sun. I picked up some sunscreen this afternoon, which I don't usually wear, but it was a good thing!! In two hours I managed to burn the two little spots that I missed with the lotion and the rest of me has the makings of a tan. The bad thing about it was that the lotion made me greasy which made the sand really stick to me. I mean it really stuck. I had a heck of a time trying to get it off, there are probably still a few grains on me somewhere.

The one thing I'd forgotten to bring to the beach was my book, which I'd meant to pick up from my office while at school. It's due this week and I wanted to get it read. Since campus was on my way home I quick popped in to grab it. My obsession drove me to do as I did last week - walking out of my way to go thru Chris's building since he's in for his office hours. Why do I do this to myself? What has desperation done to me?? He was talking to someone in the foyer area and I just quick said hi and that I'd enjoyed his presentation, then I walked out the far door. Once outside I realised that from my lower calf on down the back of both legs were coated in sand. And I mean coated, not just a little sprinking. Driving home I decided to end my crush. I don't know how that'll happen but that's what I decided anyway. Yes, somehow it ties to the sand on my legs. I'm making a fool of myself and right then I knew it.

Having decided this made me feel lonely. I'm here with no friends nearby, no new friends visible on the horizon either. And I've had a heavy heart all night because of it. Iron Chef didn't cheer me up because sitting on the big couch with no one to make comments to made me feel more alone. Everything seemed to accentuate that I'm alone. Not just single, but alone.

Well, I'm going to go crawl into my big bed, alone. Hopefully I'll wake up cheerful. Shannon and I may go out to lunch or dinner, maybe I'll talk her into a movie too, we both want to see How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. Getting out will be good.

2/20/03
Woohoo, my weekend is here! I feel like I still have to go back to work tomorrow, that's how fast my week went. But no, I get to go to the beach instead!!

Of course first I'll be going to Chris's seminar. I haven't seen him since talking to him on Monday. It is Chris's? Or Chris'? I never did understand that. Oh today I heard back from Concordia, finally. Turns out that I'm three classes short of the major. This may be one of those things where I get something stuck in my head incorrectly and then go on believeing it for years. This has happened to me before. So I would need two classes plus the thesis. Shannon thinks that that's even better because now I'd have to take his classes. I think that this is way too much work. Plus, my hours make going to class difficult because they're either at 8am or in the afternoon/evening. So we'll see how things pan out.

I stopped by the grocery store on my way home. I needed some chocolate and some water. I ended up with chocolate, frosted flakes, and cheezits (which are perfect at work) along with filling up my water container. Do you know what I fall for every time? 2/$-. Doesn't matter if I need it, I seem to just LOVE getting two of the same thing for what must be a discounted price. Which is why I have two boxes of my chocolate treats, two boxes of frosted flakes, and two boxes of cheezits. I also had to put two gallons into my container. What does all of this mean???

Maybe it means I should get to bed. My beach bag is already packed and my swimsuit is ready to be put on first thing!! Tomorrow looks like it could be a great day!

2/19/03
Wow, this website can be found at this site along with a million other blogs. I've tried finding it from the usual web searches without any luck. Hmmm, that makes me want to shape up and make this site just a tad bit more exciting for random viewers. I'll have to work on that this weekend! I also had a visitor pop in after searching for "Nina Bourne where the single men go in summer". How in the world I ended up as hit six on that search is beyond me!!!

It was another one of those days when I don't really remember much of what happened because it was that uneventful. I made up a project to keep myself busy and worked on that most of the day. I'm excited because Ethan told me today that Pat is considering dropping the new pt position that we have open, the one that replaces Shannon. Instead, we'd keep Shannon and hire someone full time in May. That would be awesome.

Finally, a good night of television and I caught it on tape! I've missed West Wing and absolutely loved it tonight. Rob Lowe isn't gone just yet, whew. And 24 last night was also excellent. Tomorrow I'm debating whether to tape Friends (I see it's an hour long special) or CSI. The problem with cable is that I can't record on different channels unless I'm here to switch it between shows.

Mary wrote tonight to say they'd arrived in Sydney today. She said they were tired and crabby and that the city was on their nerves right then. It's polluted (I suppose partly due to the wildfires) and there are way too many Americans. They're hoping to head right out of town and will leave time for Sydney on the other end of the month, before they leave for South Africa.

Ok, I'm tired so I'm going to make a run for bed before I catch a second wind.

2/18/03
Surprise surprise, Bush says that the protesters will not change his stance. Why would it? He's never listened to the majority before. But oooohhh, it pisses me off. What? People want peace? Screw them!! Tonight I was at care2.com and they have anti-war tshirts for sale and I almost bought one. I was going to get the one that said "anything war can do peace can do better" but I'm going to wait until I get ambitious enough to check into where the money goes. Must support a cause. Which I kind of laughed at because at the same time I'm waiting to go down to Ft Lauderdale's outlet mall so I can shop at Ann Taylor. Um, not supporting much there. But anti-war tshirt does not equal a larger work clothes wardrobe.

I thought it was Monday today. That means that Thursday is going to come quickly and that's good. My grandma corrected me tonight when I called her on my break. She's so cute, I miss all my family. I do not, however, miss living in the north where they are suffering horrid weather. At this point, I consider anything below 40 to be horrid. Sure enough, my blood did thin quickly, there's no going back now.

Well, I'll be going back in April. I finally booked my ticket home tonight because ticket prices are starting to go back up. I would've preferred to have paid half of what I did but I booked on American which is good because now I have mega miles with them. The problem is that I've been working for almost three years to accumulate the 50,000+ miles and it's going to be hard to book a flight and clear the total back down to zero! But when Diana lives in New Zealand I'm going to invite myself out there for a visit :)

I don't know what just got into me but I went and cleaned part of my bathroom. I left the tub alone but the whole sink and counter are clean - for the first time since I moved in. This place has a dust problem, an unnatural one I think. The bathroom is the worst and I think it's because of the exhaust fan, which is the same as the light switch so I can't ever shut it off (which drives me nuts because of the noise). Anyway, now I'm happy because it looks good in there.

There are water warnings out for the county and we're supposed to boil our water before drinking it. Good thing I already moved to the bottled stuff. But this is where I wonder about brushing my teeth with it and stuff. I'm sure I've used much worse water before in my travels but my luck, now that I'm at home some disease will get me. Now I'm going to blame everything on the water.

I went to bed at 3:30 last night but was wide awake until about 5:30. No more caffine for me (I'd had a coke with my pizza). Tonight I'm hoping for a better nights sleep but it's after 3 and I'm still not tired. Oh well, off to bed I go anyway because mom always said that just resting was good.

2/17/03
You know what I love about being here? That when I play my old game of 'where in the world would I like to be right now' sometimes my answer is right here! Even at work there have been times when I'm happy enough here to not wish I was elsewhere. This is a good thing.

My crush sighting really made it a better day. Sometimes you just need that little thing to make it all good. He's so cute. Once he was gone I was all giddy and talking poor Shannon's ear off. I think he's single (as in my no girlfriend kind of single) and I decided this because back when I met him for the first time Diane offered to set us up and he just blushed. I think if he had a girlfriend of any sort he would've mentioned it to her right there.

This afternoon Diane and I were talking and she said that she and her husband would like to take me to Miami one of these weekends to show me the town. Hooray! How much fun will that be?? I'm looking forward to it already, I wonder when it will happen.

Every day I take a walk around campus for my 15 minute break, usually circling the soccer feild and the buildings. Today I was walking past the pool/sports area and saw two hammocks that hang between short palm trees. I decided to try one of them out and have now made it my plan to skip the walk and head directly for the hammock with a book!! That was the best break I've ever taken.

Two things in the news that I liked today and thought I would share. I was reading about how the White House cancelled a poetry gathering because they were worried it would turn political (of course poets are against the war, god forbid they express that). Anyway, Galway Kinnell is a Pulitzer Prize winner who was talking about Walt Whitman and said "His bitterness is not because he was a bitter person or because he was anti-American or unpatriotic, it was because he loved America so much that he was continually disappointed." That's how I feel, that's exactly it!! I see so much potential for this country to do good and then we go screw up the world and it disappoints me! The other item was a poll taken by ABC that says "24 percent said they have stockpiled supplies and another 12 percent were considering it. The most popular items were food and water. Only three percent said they had stocked up on duct tape." I only like this because of the duct tape thing. Are we supposed to be stocking up on it??? Hahaha, how much do you have to buy before it's considered stocking up?? I like that they even added that to the article.

Whew, long post. Time for me to get to bed. I think the yoga helped last night, I fell right to sleep!

2/16/03
I was in bed by 3 last night, just as I had hoped. The problem was that I wasn't the least bit tired. At 5am I was staring at the clock, figuring out to the minute how much sleep I was going to get before my alarm was set to go off. There has to be a way to start falling asleep earlier.

Work was long and boring, barely anyone was in and I didn't have much to be working on. Basically I wasted the day away. We decided we deserved extra long breaks since we'd all arrived early and that was nice. I walked over to the nearby art festival which wasn't nearly as busy as they say it's been in the past few years. By 9 I was really ready to be at home!

Tonight was uneventful too. I talked to Kim for awhile and baked organic oatmeal raisen cookies that are really tasty. The package said I'd get 18 but I only got 12 and they're not that big. I was going to share at work tomorrow but have rethought that because I'm selfish.

I forgot to comment last night about how impressed I was with the world's turnout at the protests over the weekend. Wish I could've been at one too. Too bad Bush is too stupid to listen to what the smart people have to say. And we all know he doesn't care what a majority of people want. I was trying to think tonight if I could pinpoint when America became this huge superpower of the world. Was it right as we were hit at Pearl Harbor? The whole sleeping giant thing? I was trying to imagine what life would be like if America wasn't so forceful with our way of life. If we kept to ourselves, would the rest of the world be a better place?

Ok, I'm going to see if I can remember how to do my yoga so I can relax and then go to bed. 3am for the second night in a row, hopefully tonight I can really get some sleep!

2/15/03
I didn't stay up that late last night, maybe 4:30. Ok, so that is late but it's not *that* much later than I usually stay up. But I decided not to set my alarm for once so I could just sleep as much as I needed to. That was a mistake. I woke up at 3:45 this afternoon. Yikes!! I flew out of bed, my whole day was gone!! I knew I had to get to the grocery store because the organic place has short hours and I was determined to go. That took me almost an hour and by the time I was done it was too late to go to the beach as hoped. Instead, I decided to walk to a nearby park and then walked to the other side of the interstate to see what was in a shopping complex I'd seen. By the time I was home again it was cool and already dusk. So tonight I watched Lord of the Rings and Iron Chef, not exciting but it will do. I worked hard on my cross stitch because the more I work on that the more tired my eyes are. I have to get to bed soon or I'll never make it to work tomororow.

The organic store I found today was perfect. It's just past the Albertsons that I've been going to, I hadn't seen it until just the other night. I bought more juice and bananas for smoothies, crackers, cookie mix, soups, and milk. I'm still a bit stuck for what to make for my lunches at work now that I've decided to stay away from pastaroni. Back to egg salad sandwiches I guess.

I'm not tired but it's almost 3am. I'm going to bed whether I like it or not.

2/14/03
Someday I'm going to like Valentine's Day. In the meantime I still find it depressing. It's been years since I've had a date for it. Sigh.

I have a FL license plate at last! Took forever, cost way too much, and looks fantastic because I got the cool sea turtle one instead of a regular one. After that I made my stop at campus, I think it's possible that I've moved from crush to obsession and am bordering on stalker. Is this what life has come to???? I followed that with some time at the beach, probably just over an hour. The water was nice, the sand was warm, the sun was shining most of the time. I left swearing that I would get to the beach at least twice if not three times a month from now on. If it's nice tomorrow I'll be going again, this time in a swimsuit.

Shannon and I had dinner plans but instead of calling at 5 as planned I didn't hear from her until after 7 and she cancelled on me. It's not like her to do that so I don't know what was going on. She also said she didn't need me to drive to Ft Lauderdale with her. So I ended up at home all night as usual. I watched Gone in 60 Seconds, Iron Chef, a special on the Valentine's Day Massacre and then hooked my laptop up to the tv and watched a Bond movie. When that was done I watched all of my kitten movies from Utah and that cheered me up until I got depressed about having given them up. And that brings us to right now, 4am, and I'm going to head to bed.

Here's hoping that next year on this day I'll have a date.

2/13/03
Ah, Thursday. Technically it's Friday because it's about 4:15am but whatever. Work was boring except for my Strain sighting, which was dampered by the fact that he *might* have a girlfriend. Some detective work this week should clear that up. I like having a crush, I don't want it to end!

After work I watched The Majestic and have been dinking around on the computer since. I sent just a few more petitions out against the war and against Congress letting the environment slide for the sake of "national security". How did such STUPID people get elected into government?? They're as slimy as their oil. I hate them. And I have a feeling we'll pay for their decisions in many ways. Grrrr, I want my voice to be heard! Let me roar!

Ok, now it's 4:30 and I'm almost thinking that I should just stay up all night. I could go see the sunrise on the beach or something. But I won't. I'm just tired enough. And I don't want to fall alseep at 3 in the afternoon or anything! Shannon and I are going to head out for dinner but we have to try to find a place that won't be overcrowed so we'll have to try something offbeat. Maybe a little vegetarian place or something. Then we'll meet up again later and I'll head to Ft Lauderdale with her and Jason. He's flying home and I'll keep her company on the ride back. I remember driving back from San Antonio after taking Kim to the airport and it was torture trying to stay awake. And those are my exciting plans. And for the third Friday in a row I'm planning to get new license plates. Third time is a charm, right?

3/12/03
I just got off the phone with the campus police. I had that oh-my-god-I-think-I-didn't-shut-it-off panic hit me. I used my space heater tonight because my office was a bit chilly and I don't remember shutting it off! We were late to leave because we had a few last minute things come up and I wasn't paying attention to my office like I usually do. How horrible would I feel if the whole place burned down because of me?? Well I'm just glad that I thought of it, and that I knew that number off hand. Whew.

Well my vcr didn't work again but this time I figured out the problem. I had the vcr clock's am and pm backwards. With that solved, I hope to have no more mistakes. Another missed West Wing. It was a rerun but one that I hadn't seen.

I spent some time tonight trying to find a good airfare to MN for Kim's wedding but nothing is a cheap as I want it to be. I save money flying out of Ft Lauderdale but the drive doesn't justify any of it. I'm also having a hard time finding late afternoon flights out of Msp, I want to spend as much time with my parents that day as I can! Hopefully by the end of the week I'll have found something, it will be nice to get it booked and out of the way.

There wasn't a single good thing on tv tonight. I watched an old Law and Order and a show on the History channel before I gave up and shut it off. I would just read but as I'm sure I've mentioned a million times now I'm trying to get work done on my cross stitch! It's going to be nice when it's done, I'll take a picture :)

This evening, instead of doing real work in my office, I updated my angelfire site for anyone who might drop by (I'm not saying you should, the changes are tiny) and also updated Mary's angelfire site because I kind of left that hanging. Felt good to get that stuff out of the way, I'd been meaning to do that for some time now. And it gave me something to do at work!

Ok, time to make my lunch for tomorrow and then get to bed!

2/11/03
I must've set the vcr wrong, it didn't tape 24!! Thank goodness they put that replay on Mondays so I can catch up next week or I'd be seriously upset. I've got to start wearing my glasses when I set the vcr. West Wing is on tomorrow night and I had better not miss it again.

Today work was good though unproductive. I have a new computer with a big flat screen monitor and I also have a space heater now which will come in handy when they crank the air this summer. I had two crush sightings this afternoon. We didn't talk though, other than a quick hi. I wrote to the Concordia registrar to get things started, at least seeing what they say about how possible this is. If it doesn't work, I can always just take a few classes here for fun. Well, maybe not for fun but to continue my education.

The girls wrote tonight, I think they only have about one more week in NZ and then they fly into Sydney. They're so lucky to be out of the country. I wish I wasn't in the States. I like to think that someday I will live abroad, sometimes I even look for library jobs just to see. I can hope.

2/10/03
I was so happy to start off the day with an e-mail reply from Chris. I decided to start calling him by his name instead of just as 'my crush'. He told me his office hours and said that I could drop by anytime. So I did! I went in this afternoon and though I was only in there for less than ten minutes, it made my day. And I actually am thinking now that finishing my major is a good thing - for myself not for any other reason. He thinks I can get around the thesis by doing an independant study just reading and writing a few papers. No problem! He wants me to keep him posted about how things work from the Concordia end of things. Well, it's a start and I'm better off now that I was yesterday.

After a fun day at work that flew by, I came home and turned on the tv. Usually I make myself wait for awhile but tonight I saw that Tokyo was being featured on the Travel Channel. I just love seeing places that I've been on tv. So I watched that, and then tuned into last weeks 24 again (for an extra Kiefer fix). I followed that with some TLC, Discovery, and more of the History channel. Finally I shut it off and seriously, I'm going to go to bed soon. I'm actually tired and want to stay that way! It's not quite 3 so I'm in good shape.

2/09/03
Until I get around to fixing my background and my pita pics, thought some color would help!

2/09/03
Go Diana, giving the bartender your number!! I'm proud of you. And you're right, I can be agressive too and it won't kill me. So I sent an e-mail to my crush. It was simple and short, asking if I could meet him sometime this week in his office. The current plan is to act interested in finishing my History major before my credits expire (because it's been almost 9 years since my first History class, geez!) and to see what advice he has to offer. Writing a thesis sounds wretched and doing that JUST for a crush is a bit excessive. So I'll tell him I'm thinking about it for the fall semester, plenty of time to back on out - if it's even possible to transfer down here. Go me!

Getting up for work this morning was so hard to do. I slept longer than I should've and though I wasn't late to work, I need to be early on Sundays to open. The day managed to go by pretty fast. In the evening I discovered that Trish, an older woman who works just weekends, had really messed up our Excel sheet of books that we've ordered. It's going to take me most of tomorrow at the very least to get it back in order. I was pretty happy to get home. I cleaned my kitchen and then plopped down to watch Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, I talked to my dad, watched a few shows on the History channel, and kept plugging away at the cross stitch. I'm determined to get just a bit more done before I go to bed.

While I've stopped watching most political shows, I did tune into Larry King for awhile tonight because he had Clinton on. It was interesting to hear more about what he had done with Iraq and his views on N Korea. I'm not saying I agreed, but it was interesting. And later I caught part of Race for the White House which was featuring Edwards. His accent annoys me, he sounds like he has a cold. Hmmm, maybe he does, I don't know. It's so hard to believe people who are campaigning. Plus he supports the war. Is it that much to ask that I want someone who is against it??

Shannon is reading Stupid White Men and she's getting pissed off too. Hooray, I think she's going to convert! She's already trying to convince her husband that Reps aren't such great people after all. Go me (again)!

2/08/03
Too bad for me it wasn't a sunny day. No laying in the sun reading a book. Boohoo. It had better be nice next weekend!

It's been one of those days when I don't remember much of what I've done in the last 12 hours. I talked to Erika tonight, I also spent almost an hour on the phone with my insurance people (I now have renters insurance!). I went outside on to chat with my neighbors about the end of world and also to go get my mail. I read part of the SLC magazine that Faith sent to me, and I sent a few e-mails. This does not account for my day and I have no idea where it went!! That said, it's been a good weekend!

I donated $20 tonight to America's Second Harvest, they're associated with the Hunger Site. $10 is in the name of Erika and the other $10 in the name of Diana! Consider it my Valentine's Day gift to the world. It said on the sight that a $20 donation was equal to 560lbs of food, that's 28lbs per $1. I don't see how that's possible but I feel better about helping. I do wish that my groceries were that cheap.

I watched my usual two Trading Spaces followed by Iron Chef tonight, which was great as always. I also watched Goldeneye because Brosnan as Bond is irresistable. Did I tell you that while I was at home for Christmas I saw Man with the Golden Gun? Part of that was filmed in Thailand at an island that Mary and I went to. I've also been to Meteora in Greece where they filmed another Bond movie. They pick good locations, how much fun would it be to travel the world just to see those locales? Hmmm, that's not such a bad idea!

2/07/03
And the mites have it. They're why my plants are dead. Today I decided to be ambitious and clean up the mess of two planters full of failure. And there they were, so tiny I could barely see them. But I could see their little webs (I looked them up online to see what I should check for). There's really not much I can do about them. I'm mad because I was going to salvage that soil for the few other plants that still need to be repotted. The only way to kill them is to bake the dirt. Seriously. So I will probably just buy new dirt because it's so much easier and I'll be careful to wash the planters. The planters will be filled with no flowers this time, I'll have to see what else strikes my fancy. But that does solve that.

Now I'm hooked on tofu smoothies!! I decided to go with peach juice (organic of course) because I don't like cranberry and the grapefruit wasn't to my liking either. I could've kept right on drinking but wanted to save my bananas so that I can have a smoothie every day this week :) Thanks Erika, that was a good call!

Today was pretty uneventful. I slept until 1:45 this afternoon, I couldn't help it. Hopefully tonight I'll get to bed earlier. Since it's 2:30 already we'll have to see. I did walk down to get my mail and then walked to the nearby grocery store for more bananas and the peach juice. I was all happy with myself because not only did I walk but I took my new canvas bag to carry the food home in. Nothing like doing my part to make the world better. Plus that keeps me from spending too much - I can't buy what I can't carry!! I also went to the post office and then to get my new license plates. Problem was that when I got there I realized that my car title isn't in the glove box and I need that. I must've left it at home. I went in to ask how long I could go with MN plates for and the lady said I could keep them as long as they weren't expired. You'd think that was a good thing but then as I went back out to my car, I checked and my plates expired back in Dec!!! I don't think that's right because I remember renewing my tabs in March or something but maybe I don't know how it works. Anyway, I expect my parents can mail the title to me and by next Friday I can go back there and get everything squared away. They'll never know, right? I think I'm going to pay the extra $20 to get the plates with a sea turtle on them, they're cute and they do good.

If Iron Chef was on tonight, I completely missed it. I watched Finding Forrester and then Lethal Weapon 4. After that I looked to see if a replay of Iron Chef was on late but no luck. However, I did get to catch Morimoto Raw, which was about him opening his new restaurant. It made me hungry for Japanese food. All I really had on hand was popcorn so I made do.

It was 87 today, absolutely beautiful!! I loved being outside in my tank top and capris wearing my flip flops. If it's like that tomorrow I'm definately going to the beach. Getting some color would be really nice, I'm still very pasty and my hair needs to lighten up a few shades. So with thoughts of the beach, I'm going to see about getting to bed.

2/06/03
Ahhh, my weekend! I'm happy that my work weeks just fly by, I don't know where they go! I've been busy buying books and doing just the day-to-day kind of stuff. I've barely been in my office lately, it's kind of nice!

I went to the grocery store tonight. I was only going to buy milk, really. But I ended up blowing 50 bucks on food. First I ran into silken tofu and realized that I could make the smoothies Erika had talked about. Then I had to call Erika to get the rest of the ingredients! I wanted to buy all organic stuff but it just wasn't possible. Well, it's possible but difficult. One organic pizza is $7 but I could get 4 for $10 if I bought Tony's instead. I went with Tonys. I like frozen pizzas, one will make three meals for me. I did buy organic soup mix, milk, oj, and tofu though. I also bought cereal, rice, more juice, fruit, and drinking water (which tastes so good and is in a refillable bottle). I knew you'd want to know.

It's almost 4am and I'm not tired yet. I will be up by 1 tomorrow though, I've got to make sure I get to the post office and to the place with license plates. Other than that I have no weekend plans. Diane might call me to go out on their boat if they go. Next weekend Shannon and I are going to hang out, her husband has to be out of town. Hooray, maybe I won't be alone for V-day! It's not a date with my prof but it's better than nothing! That's Henrik's birthday. We haven't talked for awhile. Should I just give up hope and kiss that money goodbye?? I hope not! Ok that's it for me. Maybe putting on my pjs will make me tired.

2/05/03
Woohoo, a crush sighting!! He finally came into the library at night and would you believe we were way too busy for me to talk to him?? How disappointing! He came in, I smiled and we said hi but I was so busy trying to help others right then. Poor Shannon had to listen to me rave for at least a half hour after he left about how upset I was that I didn't get the chance to even talk to him! We decided that he came to the library just to see me :) He went to look up a book and had to come up to the desk to get a pen even though there were at least four pencils right around his computer. And I've been a bit giddy ever since. Just in that crush kind of way, you know?

Tonight I watched The Deep End and then Heist. I could've probably not watched them and have been just as happy. However, it was nice seeing a bit of Goran in the first and then Sam Rockwell in the second (even though he had a little mustache that made him look like a creep). I think I spent too much time in front of the tv. The worst part is that for whatever reason, my vcr didn't start recording and I missed taping West Wing!!! I was not very hap